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Date: 10/19/2022
BELCHERTOWN – On Oct. 10, Zonta Club of Quaboag Valley hosted an informational session for Domestic Violence Awareness Month with two guest speakers.
The two speakers included Alianza’s Director of Development Pamela Barnes and Monica Moran, manager of domestic violence prevention programs at the Pioneer Valley Planning Commission.
The Zonta Club of Quaboag Valley is part of Zonta International – a global community that has empowered women and girls through service and advocacy. It was founded to ensure gender equality and help every woman and girl realize their full potential while promoting and striving to reduce the incidences of violence against them.
Zonta has nearly 1,200 clubs that support local and regional initiatives in 63 countries worldwide.
Alianza is an agency specializing in domestic violence intervention and prevention and their mission is to support and empower those who are affected by battering and abuse.
Barnes said, “Alianza means alliance in Spanish, and I think it accurately reflects the work that we do and the position that we take when we work with survivors. We are in an alliance with them, and we are their allies.”
Alianza helps with logistics such as housing, food, clothing, medical support, court orders, legal help, therapy and childcare.
There is a 24-hour hotline and last year the organization added a chat feature to their website that allows the public to talk with a trained advocate. They also offer individual safety planning and counseling support groups.
Barnes said, “A few key tips we tell people is not to blame the victim. We still hear comments like what did she do or why did she go there? Abuse is a choice and tool that someone uses to exert control and power. We do not want people to ignore the signs or red flags.”
She added, “We do not advocate intervening unless you really know the situation. What you can do is take notes. You can take a picture of the license plate if you see fighting happening in a parking lot or if you know the person, make a note of the day, time, and what you saw and heard. You can then call Alianza who has advocates that can walk you through what you can do.”
Barnes said the best thing you can do is offer help by knowing about the programs in your community that offer assistance.
Moran coordinates the Ware River Valley Domestic Violence Task Force which has been around since 2000. The task force was created after people in Ware heard that the police in town received around 150 to 200 calls a year relating to domestic violence.
She said that domestic violence is the most common police call across the country with 20 to 40 percent of police response being related to domestic violence. The task force meets monthly and with the help of Alianza were able to set up local services to help with the transportation barrier.
Moran said, “People have enough on their plate already so we wanted to help anyway we can. Before the task force, you would have to have the courage to go to a different community when someone is telling you for days you are worthless, and no one will believe you anyway.”
Alianza and Zonta both helped the Ware task force set up a local domestic violence advocate and support groups that can meet you wherever is easiest. When the police report to a domestic violence call, the victim is going to get a call from the advocate to let them know about services they can offer and that they are there to help.
Moran explained that a good relationship includes good communication, trust, respect and shared decision making. She added that relationships at the risk of abuse include controlling behavior, jealousy, possessiveness, blaming and fear.
Tips she offered for helping someone who might be in an abusive relationship is to open the conversation, be supportive, express your concern without being judgmental, give concrete examples of why you are worried, listen and let them know how you can help.
She added that some things to avoid is being judgmental, telling the person what to do, bash the abuser, offer to help more than you will be able to follow through with, and overusing labels that can feel scary like “you are a victim of domestic violence.”
The seventh annual Domestic Violence awareness walk sponsored by the Ware River Valley Domestic Violence Task Force is taking place on Oct. 22 at 1 p.m. at Veterans Park in Ware. There will be a short walk downtown to show support for survivors of domestic and sexual violence. The event will include speakers, activities and exhibits for all ages.