Is candy corn the new fruitcake? Date: 10/15/2019 Ah, October! For me it means having the excuse for a full month to watch horror movies, decorate the office at work with holiday appropriate adornments and wax nostalgia about trick or treating.
At my tender age, I can still recall the once-a-year effort to obtain as much candy as possible – just what any child truly needed. My mom would make sure the bounty of the evening of sanctioned begging was rationed out carefully.
In my Springfield neighborhood there is now very little trick or treating action. While there are some age-appropriate kids, they aren’t seen trooping up and down our streets.
My wife and I decided not to participate when we were besieged with young mothers with infants in strollers saying, “I’m collecting for my baby.”
Oh, you mean that kid who is still taking bottles?
Growing up in a simpler time meant that little scrutiny was given to what was in the Halloween bag. It didn’t matter if you received an apple or a homemade cookie or a popcorn ball. People trusted people.
As a kid I realized that this once a year effort was my way to be introduced to a wider variety of treats than normally afforded to me. There was something always fairly exotic in the bag, as well as the possibility of full size candy bars.
Who in the name of all that’s holy decided a bite-size candy bar would be called “fun size?”
And there were always things that I viewed as something I would eat as matter of last resorts – candy corn was often that candidate.
Candy corn has achieved the status of fruitcake: it is a ubiquitous and traditional part of a holiday that no one apparently likes, although it is manufactured and sold in bulk quantities.
For the record, I do like a good fruitcake, but I seem to be in the minority in my peer group.
Before you decided what to buy to hand out to your trick or treaters, I thought I’d ask my Facebook friends what confection to avoid. What was the worse thing you found in your Halloween bag at the end of the night was the question to answer.
Candy corn seemed to be the overwhelming candidate for worst candy ever.
One of my respondents wrote, “Candy corn has the texture of nausea.” That’s pretty definitive.
There were several votes with the word “yuck” attached.
There were quite a variety of responses. One person wrote, “My kids got a note telling them to find Jesus. That was clearly the most disappointing candy.”
Another received a toothbrush. While functional and clearly a good message, it was bound to disappoint.
Also other good intentions included gifts of apples and raisins.
One of my staff said that Fun Dip – powered flavored sugar you eat by licking an edible stick – was her candidate for a disgusting Halloween candy.
The mere definition of candy was established by one person who wrote, “Any non-chocolate hard candy. It would always be the last thing left and I would throw it away at the start of Christmas break. My philosophy then and now is: If it ain't chocolate, it ain't candy.”
Along those same lines was the following answer: “Basically if I got anything that wasn’t Reeses, Twizzlers, Hershey, Crunch, or M&M's it went in the trash.”
Necco wafers also received several votes as the worst thing in the bag. Chick ‘o’ Sticks were also named as evil.
I’m afraid I like both.
In terms of simply giving something strange there was “ExLax chocolate! Need I say more?” Another person noted, “A piece of buttered rye bread. (That it sticks to the side of the bag is only one of the issues).”
I order to provide some good memories, make your candy decision wisely this Halloween. The trauma you inflict with a poor choice could live with a child the rest of his or her life.
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