1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
2. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of
matches to start a campfire?
3. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument
6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about
seeing UFOs like they used to?
7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman
is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
11. You read about all these terrorists-most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you're two days late with a video and those
people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
Chris & Dan
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