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Date: 12/21/2020
I’ve been accused many times in my life of being a Grinch or a Scrooge.
It’s simply not true.
Sure, I absolutely believe, as my colleague Payton North brought to the public’s eye last Christmas season, that 98 percent of Christmas music is garbage and Michael Bublé is nothing more than a glorified lounge singer. That’s a hill I’ll die on.
But for every copy of “Jiggle Bells” and “Dominic the Donkey” you can fire into the sun, there are 10 other things I absolutely love about the holidays.
I’ve played Santa and managed not to scare a single child.
I’ve got a thing about how the Christmas tree looks; I’m kind of neurotic about it. The shape is a big thing for me and I’ll look for hours for the tree that is just that right kind of full without being fat. I’m meticulous about the lights, though admittedly my mother has always had me beat in that category. I’m kind of uptight about ornament placement, so you could imagine how much tongue-biting there was this year as the 2-year-olf “helped” decorate the tree. I’m a firm believer that tinsel is beautiful, but only when placed sparingly and correctly to give the illusion of icicles hanging off the tree branches. I nearly had a stroke the first time I decorated a tree with my wife and witnessed her throwing gobs of silver strands at the tree like she was throwing a shot put.
Holiday baking is top-notch, especially with a good cup of coffee.
“How the Grinch Stole Christmas” is literary mastery and I have never once made it through “The Polar Express” without blubbering like a baby.
While you can keep the Christmas carols, you can give me all of the sappy holiday commercials. That one with the old man brushing off the old kettle bell? I’m a puddle. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Do yourself a favor and look it up.
Christmas masses just hit the soul differently in all of the best ways – including the playing of most of the 2 percent of Christmas music that is actually quality.
I’m blessed with loving family on both sides that make sharing the holidays all that much more special. Granted, this year will be different in that respect, but that one-year sacrifice for the greater good is going to make next year that much more special.
And, of course, who can forget holiday movies and specials? As mentioned in Payton’s Page 2 feature this week, enjoying an empty house with a beer, gift wrapping and “Die Hard” is an annual ritual, though I’m also a big fan of the more traditional Christmas specials.
“Merry Christmas Charlie Brown” remains the gold standard. My good friend and fellow Republican sports stringing veteran Greg Cameron once asserted, “If every kid had a friend like Linus, the world would be a better place,” and truer words were never spoken.
The 1966 animated “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” is the only adaptation worth paying attention to. A full-length movie based on a book that contains as many words as this column is just not going to hold up. Conversely, I’ve seen more than a few terrific adaptations of “A Christmas Carol,” but two – “The Muppet Christmas Carol” and the 1984 production with George C. Scott – are the go-to’s for me, for very different reasons obviously. The Muppets bring the right amount of humor and sarcasm to the picture to make it fun for kids and adults alike while the latter really accentuates the ghost story element of the Dickens classic in a way I haven’t seen others do as successfully.
“Christmas Vacation” remains one of the most quotable movies of all time and the older I get, the more I relate to Clark W. Griswold Jr.
Give me the original “Miracle on 34th Street” anytime because we can all use a reminder that faith is believing when common sense tells you not to. “It’s a Wonderful Life” is dated, but the fact that we are all sometimes a little bit George Bailey, needing some Clarence the angel in our lives, rings especially true in 2020. “Elf,” “The Santa Clause” and “Home Alone” are just OK.
“Frosty the Snowman” is fine, but it hasn’t aged particularly well; the same can be said for “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” which, even as a kid, felt a little bit forced to me and a bit cringey.
But in terms of cringe-worthy classics nothing takes the cake like “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Mind you, as bad as it might be, I’ll still unashamedly watch it, but from start to finish, as a grown man, all I can do is laugh and shake my head.
Whatever it is that makes you warm inside this holiday season, please make sure you do a lot of it and be sure to take the time to find a reason smile and laugh this holiday season. After the year we’ve had, you deserve every second of it.
To those who celebrate, I hope you have a very special Christmas and may the new year bring all of you good fortune.