Families must choose college together

By Judy Cohen, MEd

A special for Reminder Publications

It's that time of year for seniors. They have heard from colleges and now have to make that very important decision. Where do they want to go? Which school will be right for them? How do they know? Yes, it is a difficult time for seniors and for their parents. Parents want to be helpful; they want to be part of the decision-making process, but how involved should they be? Ah, this is so hard. Parents care, they want to show they care, but they have to be careful that they just share their thoughts with their children and don't actually down one school and elevate another. They can point out what each school has to offer, but they should do it in a non-judgmental way. After all, it is their children who are attending the college. What might seem ideal for the parents will not necessarily seem ideal for the students.

The following are some things that should be considered by students. Actually, they thought about these issues when they originally applied to the schools, but now they should rethink them. They should take their time; think about what they really want to do and where they really want to go. It is their future, so they should plan carefully for it.

So, high school seniors, think about the following:

Financial Aid is the school really affordable? Is the aid commensurate with the aid from other schools?

Size how big is the college? If it is very large, will you feel lost? Will there be teaching assistants rather than professors teaching your class? Will there be many kids in your class? Will it be difficult to get to know your professor and to seek him out if you have a problem? If it is small, will there be enough courses to choose from? Will there be enough diversity among the students? How big are the dorms? Do they have all the facilities that you want?

Location how large is the campus? Is it far from an airport? Is it near a large city? How safe is it? Is there transportation on campus? Will you like being far from home? It may be expensive for you to travel home as much as you would like. Will your folks be able to see you often? Right now you may feel it would be awesome to spread your wings and live far from home, but when you really think about it, will you miss your family?

Majors are there enough to choose from? Is the one you want available? What do you have to do to fulfill its requirements? Can you go to the school as an undeclared student?

Sports does the school have the sports in which you wish to participate or watch? What about intramural sports? How many are offered?

Clubs, organizations, student body what is the make-up of the school? Are fraternities and sororities important? Do you feel comfortable with the types of students you will find on campus? Are students active in organizations?

If you can, plan to spend a weekend at the college you are considering, or at least try to revisit it for a day. Months have passed since you applied. You will be looking at it with different eyes.

When you think about it, most of the seniors are just 17 or 18 and have had their lives planned for them up until now, and so the misgivings and musings mount. Believe me, this is not an easy time, so parents, patience and understanding is a virtue.

Parents, I decided to write a poem to let you in on the turmoil that many or your seniors are feeling.

To read Judy Cohen's poem check out www.thereminder.com, click on "Special Section" then "Poetry."

Cohen is author of "From the Guidance Counselor's Office."