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Reminder Assistant Editor LONGMEADOW The teen crowd is a notoriously tough crowd for parents to reach, especially when it comes to doing things that could cause problems for them. Look at underage drinking, for example lecturing a child and forbidding him or her to do it may cause the child to be spiteful and drink simply because the parents said no. Trying to use reverse psychology could backfire. Ignoring the problem is the worst thing a parent could do, however, according to Chris Volkmann. Chris and her son, Toren Volkmann, discovered firsthand that ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away and that doing so may only make the issue grow. The mother-son duo met three times with both the high school students and the parents of Longmeadow last Monday to discuss the ordeal they went through when Toren started drinking at age 15. "The last thing people at this age want to do is listen to their moms," Chris said to the assembled students in her introduction. She added, though, that listening can be a good thing. According to the book she and her son wrote, "From Binge to Blackout: A Mother and Son Struggle with Teen Drinking," one-third of high school seniors are heavy drinkers and 20 percent of all people who drink will become alcohol dependent. The Volkmanns presentation was more of a harrowing story than a lecture. Chris explained how Toren's drinking during his teens led to arrests, to her son being kicked off various athletic teams, and, she said, when it got worse, she didn't know who to go to for help and that she didn't know who to trust. "I was a pretty naive mom," she admitted. Toren felt that he was naive at first, too. "I never planned out anything when I was drinking and I definitely never thought about anything bad," he said. "Alcohol became so important to me that it was my number one priority, and I think that was the first warning sign." Chris and Toren described Toren's slow decay as a functioning member of society and a dean's list-earning student. While Toren shared more of the personal side of his downfall, Chris shared sobering statistics and facts with the audience like the fact that there are 10 million drinkers in the U.S. between the ages of 12 and 20. "Milk spends $70 million a year on ads ... Alcohol spends $70 million a week," Chris stated. "And alcohol is killing six times more teens than all other drugs combined." After Toren graduated from the University of San Diego with a degree in psychology, he joined the Peace Corps and then, he said, he knew something was really wrong. If he went a few days without binge drinking, he'd go through terrible withdrawals, shaking and sweating for days. "I just wanted to get better," Toren said. Now, at age 26, he can admit he was an alcoholic and will always be an alcoholic. He's been sober for four and a half years. "Don't look at drinking as a moral issue but as a health issue," Chris urged the LHS teens. "If you or a friend has a problem with alcohol, get help. Seventy-four percent of people never get help for their drinking problem think about that. That would be like 74 percent of you never getting help for a broken leg." She added that the students should use her family as an example and use them as a way to talk to their own families about alcohol. Senior Michelle Blair said she thought the presentation was very informative. "It's good to know about this stuff," she said. She admitted she knows a lot of kids her age who drink and that the Volkmanns' presentation definitely made her think about talking to her parents about the issue. "It's really good to see people who do this [talk about alcohol problems]," junior Amy Dibbern said. "Everyone knows someone who drinks." Ellen Topitzer, also a junior, said she learned some things she never knew before from the presentation. When asked why he travels the country to spread this message to teens, Toren joked, "My mom makes me," before stating, "I like doing it. It gives them [the students] an opportunity to reevaluate what drinking really means to them. I think this also functions as affirmation for the kids who don't drink. It's a way to educate." "I'm happy to be able to do this," Chris said. "It's an honor to do it and it's very rewarding to talk to kids. You only need their attention for 10 seconds but those 10 seconds could affect their lives." Superintendent E. Jahn Hart said the mother-son pair delivered "a powerful, frightening message" during their presentation. High school principal Larry Berte added that "our kids can really relate" to a young man like Toren. The Sport and Event Management class at LHS helped coordinate this presentation for the student body. To learn more about the Volkmanns, visit www.bingetoblackout.com. | ||||||
