DIRECTIONS...

Date: 5/30/2006

On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

"Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction

accidents if we could just get those

5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and... I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what?)

On Sunsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:

Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Southwest?)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)



Sincerely,

Chris & Dan

Directed Co-Publishers



P.S. Thank you to our faithful readers and advertisers for welcoming us into your homes and hearts every week.