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Couple reaches out to families of gays and lesbians

By Lori O'Brien, Correspondent

SPRINGFIELD A local couple will soon celebrate their first year of offering a support group in the city that reaches out to family members and friends of gays and lesbians.

Ann and Chet Franczyk of West Springfield were instrumental in launching Always Our Children in 2006, based on the original document of the same name by the National Conference of Catholic Bishops (NCCB). The original document speaks of the importance of forming support groups in parishes as a vehicle for making the document a living document, according to the Franczyks who spoke recently with Reminder Publications.

"The priests have indicated they recognize the need to reach out to gay and lesbian persons and their families and friends, reassuring them that the church is always their 'home,'" said Chet Franczyk.

Meetings are conducted on the first and third Tuesday at 7 p.m. in the community room of the convent behind Sacred Heart Parish on Chestnut Street.

Both Ann Franczyk and another mother of the group, Kathy Blanchard, have been busy spreading the word of Always Our Children to priests throughout the Springfield Diocese. At press time, 12 priests have met with the two women to become familiar with its mission.

"Their overall response to our group has been very positive and affirming," said Ann Franczyk. "The priests with whom we have spoken believe that we are doing vitally important work and trust in our lived reality as parents of gay children to act as witnesses of the Gospel message of love."

Ann Franczyk added that area priests have indicated they would spread the word about Always Our Children and would be "delighted to do so."

More than eight years ago, the Franczyks received a "beautiful letter" from their son Mark, then 16, who told them he was gay. From that revelation, the Franczyks say they embraced their son with love and acceptance, and soon found themselves on an educational and spiritual journey.

Their research included an immense amount of reading and joining a local support group, however, they felt a faith component was lacking for them in their journey. As time passed they became familiar with the NCCB document "Always Our Children" and approached Springfield Bishop Timothy A. McDonnell on their idea of creating a support group based on the document's premise. Bishop McDonnell gave the Franczyks his blessing and their first meeting took place last April.

Their son Mark, now 24, a graduate of Columbia University and presently working in finance on Wall Street, is also proud of the work his parents have achieved.

"He realizes that the support and unconditional love of gay and lesbian persons, especially by their parents and families, is crucial to their emotional life and sense of wholeness," said Ann Franczyk.

The group meetings are still small but as word spreads, the Franczyks hope others will consider attending the gatherings.

"The individuals in our group range in age from their 20's to 60's and include parents, straight allies, a pastoral care minister at the parish, as well as gay and lesbian persons," said Ann Franczyk, adding "the group welcomes all faiths."

The Franczyks are very passionate when asked about the advice they pass on to others.

"Our advice to parents upon learning that their child is gay is to be patient with themselves and their child," said Ann Franczyk, adding "to most of all love and affirm their child and at the same time being patient with themselves."

Chet Franczyk echoed those sentiments.

"The realization of their child's sexual orientation may be a revelation to parents but is often something the child has lived with and, often struggled with, for many years," he added. "The response of parents is extremely varied as one might imagine and may range from relief that their child has finally 'come out,' to extreme discomfort, often largely based on their own fear of something that they do not understand."

The Franczyks said it is their belief that ignorance breeds fear and that as the parents learn more about homosexuality, if they did labor under misconceptions, these myths are often dispelled as their knowledge and understanding grows.

As the support group soon enters the beginning of its second year, the Franczyks' goal is to live out the mission of the group through support and education.

"We intend to spread the news of our group to more and more people so as to serve as support for more gay and lesbian persons, their families and friends; to engage in conversation with more priests and religious women who may in turn act as our voice with parents and other persons who may seek or benefit from our help," said Ann Franczyk.

Chet Franczyk added that educating the general public by sponsoring educational forums in parishes, schools and the general community is another goal of the group. Chet Franczyk is a pediatrician while Ann is a nurse practitioner.

As the Franczyks take their message to the streets, they remind all of us that to be loved unconditionally is, after all, a basic human need.

"As the Gospel message states, 'Love one another as I have loved you,'" said Ann Franczyk.

For more information on the support group, contact Ann Franczyk at 736-6803 or via e-mail at annrun76@aol.com.