Local experts weigh in on how to talk to your kids about the coronavirus

Date: 3/24/2020

WESTERN MASS. – With a seemingly never-ending onslaught of information about the coronavirus (COVID–19) and the illness it causes, figuring out what is going on can be overwhelming. For kids, it can be downright scary. Reminder Publishing talked to experts in the field of child psychology to get advice on how to talk to children about the pandemic.

Don’t panic

“The key factor in all of this is not to panic,” said Maryann Paleologopoulos, a licensed independent clinical social worker in Agawam. She said it was important for parents not to show fears in front of their young children. “The world is not ending. This is temporary,” she said but recognized, “This is an adjustment for families.”

Dallas Pilecki, a licensed mental health counselor with Serendipity Psych in Westfield agrees and said it is important to “avoid the catastrophic thinking,” even for adults. When talking to children, he said, “Acknowledge that this is hard. People know something is going on, no matter how old they are.”

Age appropriate

All of the experts that Reminder Publishing spoke to said that making sure parents talk to their children in an age-appropriate manner is perhaps the most important thing they can do.

“For a much younger child, we want to be honest with our kids, but in a way understand it. So we talk about how there's a new germ that we don’t know much about, but assure them that the doctors and scientists are working on it,” said Stephanie Taylor, a licensed mental health counselor in East Longmeadow. She said it was also important to reassure them that the family is taking precautions.

Pilecki said, “Explain that if they get sick, they may be okay, but grandma or Aunt Lucy might have a harder time.” As children age, they can handle more details, he said.

“When you get up to the high school level and college, it's important to be more direct,” said Paleologopoulos. High schoolers, she said, “They’re very upset. They're missing prom, they're not seeing their friends in the last few months of school.” It is important to remind them that even though, “[they’re] missing out on some things now, it's saving their lives.”
Taylor said how much news and social media access teens should have depended on their maturity. She encouraged minimizing the amount of coverage one watches, even for adults, because it adds to stress and trauma symptoms.

“I think everyone should limit how much they see,” Pilecki said. “With all the coverage, it can cause stress.”

Not all age groups need to have conversations about the virus. Pilecki said that if it doesn't affect the child’s day-to-day life, such as with children who are too young to attend school or daycare, simply reinforcing covering their mouths and washing their hands is enough.

Structure

One thing that parents can do for their children during this time is to provide structure.

“Structure is one of the utmost important things for all of us,” Taylor said, “really sort of have a plan for the day.”

Pilecki said providing things children can do each day or at a certain time of day can make kids feel like there's more control over the situation.

For the children that are particularly anxious, Taylor said, focusing on what is in our control can be important.

 “We can control if we go out or stay home, we can control washing our hands, we can control healthy eating, we can control our breathing,” Taylor gave as examples. She added that for both adults and children, most therapists are still available through video the sessions.

Taylor also said that in addition to work that schools may be providing “incorporating non-traditional learning, how to cook, how to sew a button, these sort of life skills can help,” confidence now and in the long run.

Family time

Pilecki also recommended changing the focus to positive things.

“Encourage the things in life they can appreciate,” and “be mindful of what you do have. We're all in this together. Being able to know this can make them feel like they don't have to shoulder it alone.”

“This is a good time for families to be outside together, read books, get off social media and get back to basics,” Paleologopoulos suggested.