A fairy tale for the suburbs
By G. Michael Dobbs
Managing Editor
Once upon a time, there was a nice little suburban town in western Massachusetts where a group of people worked long and hard on making a wonderful community park, complete with a lake that they would stock for fishing contests.
And one day, the people realized there was goose poop all over the place, because the wild geese had made the lake and park their home. The people didn't really like the geese much, but they couldn't bring their shotguns down to the lake to get rid of them, because it was against the law and well, that's not the way they did things in the suburbs, anyway.
So someone had a very clever idea. They had heard that if you brought a male and female swan to the lake and they were mates, they would get all territorial and chase the bad old geese away with no one getting hurt.
Well, the town folks didn't realize that it was against state law to introduce a non-native species to the lake and they received a fine from the gnomes in Boston.
The swans were very pretty as they slid across the face of the lake, and the townspeople were happy even though they got fined.
There was just one thing wrong the geese and the swans got along just fine. There were rumors of the water fowls having fondue parties and carpooling to soccer games.
Worse, there was no drop in the level of goose poop and, in fact, there was now swan poop.
Poop, poop and more poop.
So after the long winter, the swans came back from the little zoo where they had stayed and the miracle of life occurred. The female swan made a nest and laid some eggs. But were those eggs fertilized? No one seemed to know.
If they were fertilized and little cygnets baby swans were born, then the townspeople might face more trouble from the state because they're not supposed to propagate swans.
Oh dear! What's going to happen next?
Well, some people in the town didn't like the folks from the Big Bad City who came over the border to use the park. They said those people who looked different than they did littered and spoke loudly.
Oh my!
So someone decided that if they brought in grizzly bears into the park that would scare away all those trespassers from the Big Bad City.
When one of the grizzly bears ate someone, the gnomes in Boston sent in the State Police ...
I'm just joshing about the bears, folks. No one would be that dumb.
This is a great lesson in leaving things alone. Geese are attracted to cozy bodies of water. Geese must be tolerated. Goose poop is nasty, and like many nasty things in life, it's inevitable.
These are my thoughts and no one else's.
Send your comments to mdobbs@reminderpublications.com or to 280 N. Main St., East Longmeadow, MA 01028.
|
|
