Graduates: what you need – more adviceDate: 6/12/2015 This is the time of year when thousands of hopeful high school and college graduates don the cap and gown, assemble in some great hall and go through a ceremony designed to note they have successfully hit another milestone in their lives: graduation.
Perhaps the most arduous part of this process is enduring the commencement speaker. For colleges, there is a hope the speaker will be someone who has a degree of fame which would make him or her potentially interesting. For high school students, though, there is less of a possibility for someone famous.
My high school speaker was the late Congressman Silvio Conte, who was late to the ceremony. Our assistant principal had been charged to pick him up at Bradley and rushed him here. While I remember the car carrying the congressman careening across the front lawn of Granby Jr.-Sr. High School, I cannot remember the message of his speech.
I skipped my UMass commencement. I didn’t see torturing my parents by making them sit in the football stadium for hours. And yes, the speaker was not a thrilling choice.
I’ve covered enough graduations to know the rules. The goal of a commencement speaker should be to mix one part compelling wisdom or humor with one part speed. The longer the speech goes on the greater the chance of losing the audience, unless, of course, the speaker is either very famous or very funny.
Like anyone who has listened to such speeches, I’ve imagined what I would say to young graduates, what I’ve learned after 61 years on this planet.
Don’t worry. This won’t take long.
Here goes:
That extra screw that’s left over for the assemble-it-yourself furniture you’ve finished may not mean you’ve missed something. Someone in China just might be messing with you.
Drink for taste not for effect. Anyone can be a drunk. Not everyone can learn the pleasures of relaxing with an adult beverage.
Just because the phrase “As seen on TV” is prominent on a product’s box doesn’t mean it’s any good.
If you have the time and some money, travel. See this country. See another country. Talk to people, take pictures and eat things you’ve never eaten before. Few things are more educational than travel.
Understand that you may do a great job and never be appreciated. Work for your satisfaction and standards. Bosses are not necessarily cheerleaders.
Avoid chain restaurants. Eat at a local place. Ask your server for recommendations.
Be a skeptic. Question authority. Question the media. Seek the truth.
Here are some authors to discover: Sinclair Lewis, George Orwell and Ambrose Bierce.
The most profound moments in life, the most important stories cannot be boiled down to a meme on Facebook.
Read foreign newspapers online to get other perspectives on important stories.
If you’re avoiding foreign films because of subtitles, or black and white movies because they aren’t in color, then grow up. There is a world of great films in both categories. Don’t limit yourself.
Credit cards are a necessary evil. Use sparingly.
Seek out and listen to the Firesign Theatre. Watch Monty Python. Appreciate the wit of Richard Pryor. Download podcasts from The Nerdist.
Maps, GPS and instructions are our friends. Don’t avoid using them out of ego.
There are worse habits than swearing. At the same time, there are more descriptive words to use than the handful of curses used by many.
“No” always means “no.” Accept it.
Older people actually know things that will make your life easier. Don’t let the grey hair fool you. Show us disrespect and we have a lifetime of knowledge about how to make your life miserable.
Looks can be deceptive. Don’t assume you understand a person by the way they look. You don’t want to be judged that way, do you?
Careers evolve. If you see that your degree work may not have prepared you for what you really want to do, don’t panic. Do the work that can sustain you spiritually and financially.
Don’t waste time. It’s something you can never get back.
School is not the end of your education; it’s really just the beginning. Yes, I know that is a bummer. You really thought at this point you knew everything you needed to know. Sorry. I’m 61 and every day I realize the vastness of what I don’t know. There is always something to learn. That is what keeps us vital.
It’s all about jobs
I was watching the television coverage of the story concerning the possible delay of the construction of the MGM Springfield casino – I broke the story and I’m still waiting for thank yous from my various colleagues – and naturally there were some “man on the street” interviews. One of the folks interviewed seems completely cool about it. He believed we should have expected some delays.
Really?
If you assume that MGM knew pretty much all along that having the state as a “partner” with the I-91 construction was not a good thing. So why set a date that was probably unrealistic?
Oh, well, if a delay is approved then I’ll just have to put my post-retirement part time job plans aside. I really was getting used to being a men’s room attendant in my dotage.
Agree? Disagree? Drop me a line at news@thereminder.com or at 280 N. Main St., East Longmeadow, MA 01028. As always, this column represents the opinion of its author and not the publishers or advertisers of this newspaper.
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